A Virtual Girl’s Night
Okay picture this—two girl’s from different parts of the world. On one end a beautiful blonde-haired water polo champion from Zimbabwe with a bold, spitfire personality. The other a quirky brunette from Washington State with a love for books and coffee (that’s me, haha.) Both girls just starting out, fresh out of highschool, and beginning their freshman year at college (or in my case, a gap-year program in Belize.) When all of a sudden, the world comes to a complete halt and all of these brilliant plans just…stop.
I met my now best friend in 2020, in the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic. I had just been sent back to my hometown from my gap-year program, as many countries were closing tourism and mission work in order to protect their citizen’s from a then perplexing virus. I was back in my parent’s place, lonely and stir-crazy; wishing for a way to get out of the house.
My best friend (who I’ll call Joanne for the sake of this story) was initially in college on a water polo scholarship. Her college had closed down, seemingly out of nowhere. Unfortunately, she was unable to get on a plane home before everything got shut down. So, being so far from Zimbabwe, her parent’s sent her to the only American family they could at the time—my church pastor and his family. The pastor’s wife, a dear friend of mine, called and asked if I would be willing to meet a girl about my age and spend time with her, as she was completely separated from her own family, for the time being.
The rest was history!
From then on, we were great friends! We were side by side as we each fell in love, and ‘Joanne’ was one of the bridesmaid’s in my wedding. I watched her grow through incredible circumstances. Fast-forward to the present day, we are both mothers of beautiful children. By complete coincidence, we each have children only a couple weeks apart. Alas, not everything in life can be a fairytale. Sadly, over the years since the pandemic, we have both moved out of that beautiful town where we first met. In fact, ‘Joanne’ now lives almost 2,000 miles away!
Distance, however, is no match for wishful thinking. Instead of allowing life to pull us apart, we have made it a priority to not only keep in touch, but to support one another through all of life’s difficulties thus far. One of the ways that we do this is by setting aside scheduled time to talk on the phone, even when we have NOTHING to talk about.
For over a year now, ‘Joanne’ and I have set aside one or two girl’s nights a month. We each have our children asleep, our husbands get personal time, and we stay up watching our favorite show together. It’s amazing!
Sometime’s it takes us a while to get to the feature film of the night—on those days, we are just bursting with life!
One time, in particular, I sent my best friend a ‘self care’ package that I packed myself—complete with face masks, candles, a mani-pedi kit, and bath salts. We worked it out so that our girl’s night would correlate to ‘Joanne’s’ birthday week, and we combined self-care and movie night with facial’s and fun! This way, we are able to stay connected, even through the ups and downs of everyday life.
These virtual girl’s nights have been vital to my personal transition from school/work life to becoming a stay-at-home mom. As my daughter and son have grown, my best friend has been able to stay involved in their regular life! I thought it was really isolating, at first. Being home with the kids whilst my husband works 80+ hours a week to provide for us, I needed somone who understood and could walk out these trials with me. In my case, I was blessed with ‘Joanne,’ a crazy, mermaid beauty queen with sparkling blonde hair chasing after her passions of life, love, and family—just like me.
If you’re struggling with feeling isolated as a new mom, I highly recommend reaching out to someone you love. Take that leap of faith, ask that friend you miss if they have any time to spare. Be INTENTIONAL! Most importantly, be open to the possibilities that can come from opening up to someone about your needs. It might surprise you the village you can have, if you take the time to cultivate it.
